2024 Golden Goblin Awards

For the second year in a row! Wow!

The Oscars are next Sunday, which means it’s time for the second annual Golden Goblin awards!

This rounds up some of my favorite movies from 2023 that weren’t “serious,” as well as some fun categories like best food and best douchebag, two of my personal weaknesses.

And this year there is voting! So have at it! Xx

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Best Picture

• Air

• Bottoms

• Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning — Part I

• No Hard Feelings

• Theater Camp

Best Performance by a Food Item

• The sexy grilled cheese, Anyone But You

• The gas station hard-boiled egg, The Killer

• The pineapple upside-down cake, May December

• The crisp Portuguese custard pastry, Poor Things

• Collin Firth’s cameo burrito, Rye Lane

Best Performance by a Hot Non-Actor Person

• Kaia Gerber, Bottoms

• Josh Richards, Dream Scenario

• Addison Rae, Thanksgiving

Best Kill Sequence

• Stuffed in an animatronic bear, Five Nights at Freddie’s

• Corn holders in the ears, Thanksgiving

• Eyes sucked into tubes, Saw X

Best Song

• P.I.M.P. (Instrumental Version), Anatomy of a Fall

• A cappella rendition of “WAP”, Joy Ride

• Man Eater as a ballad, No Hard Feelings

• Uncomfortable karaoke rendition of “Rent,” Saltburn

• The show announcements song, Theater Camp

Best Outfit

• Margot Robbie & Ryan Gosling’s roller skating fits, Barbie

• Anne Hathaway’s power suit, Eileen

• Jeremy Allen White’s patriotic robe, The Iron Claw

• Emma Stone’s white boots, Poor Things

• Alison Oliver’s fuchsia fringe “tennis” jumpsuit, Saltburn

Best Out of Pocket Moment

• Anne Hathaway’s Christmas Eve scream, Eileen

• Blowing up a pipeline, How to Blow up a Pipeline

• Jennifer Lawrence gets throat punched, No Hard Feelings

• The quinoa diva cup, Rye Lane

• Fucking the grave, Saltburn

Best Douchebag

• Chris Messina, Air

• Glen Powell, Anyone But You

• Michael Cera, Dream Scenario

• Seth Rogen, Dumb Money

• Jimmy Tatro, Theater Camp

  

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