Pandora doesn't go back in the box

Jury Duty, Frank Ocean, and Crumbl Cookies.

Happy 4/20!!

They don’t make stoner movies like they used to. Maybe since now it’s as easy and convenient to buy weed as it is to pick up a gallon of oat milk, the cinematic allure has evaporated.

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The Low-Brow Lowdown

Rolling Stone published their second Creators Issue. Emma Chamberlain is on the cover dressed like the Tin Man after a hot streak in Atlantic City. Other honorees include Alix Earle, Alex Cooper, Dylan Mulvaney, etc.

And speaking of Tin Men, the first look Wicked movie pics are out. They’re very dark! If they needed to borrow my ring light, all they had to do was ask.

Coachella attendees were left baffled by Frank Ocean’s set. Much like Sunday’s Love is Blind reunion, Ocean’s performance was an hour late, and consisted mostly of downer songs played with his back to the audience. It’s like when you’re eleven and you say you’ll sing “Jar of Hearts” a cappella for your friends, but only if they turn around.

Ali Wong and Bill Hader are back together. I’m always a fan of a nice, age appropriate pairing where the duo has lots in common. However, I’d be more interested to see if there’s any credence to these DeuxMoi rumors about Zac and Vanessa rekindling their romance, despite Vanessa being very publicly engaged.

Jeremy Piven addresses sexual assault allegations amid Hollywood return. He had the gall to quote MARTIN LUTHER KING of all people, saying “no lie can last forever” in reference to the eight women who shared stories of his alleged abuse on and off set.

A Twilight TV series in the works. The Twilight x Harry Potter feud lives on ten years later! Weeks after the Grinch’s dog, Max, announced a Harry Potter series was coming to the platform, we learned that a Twilight series is on the way as well, and the script is coming from the same lady who adapted Tell Me Lies, which I think no one watched but me. But that show was super horny, so maybe that means we get to leave the Mormon abstinence in the past.

Is Jury Duty Worth the Hype?

Over the weekend, my algorithm was suddenly flooded with videos of James Marsden being a douchebag at a courthouse.

I feel like there was virtually no promotion for this show so I wasn’t prepared to suddenly force it into my Succession-LIB-Yellowjackets-Survivor schedule, but I made time for the first four episodes.

The logline: Ronald thinks he’s arriving at an LA courthouse for regular old jury duty, but in reality, he’s been unknowingly cast in a fake trial where everyone is an actor except him.

I’m confused: It roughly boils down to an experiment testing Ronald’s character — he’s cast alongside these quirky quacks and constantly put in positions of having to manage their antics. It’s akin toWhat Would You Do? but with much lower stakes — it’s basically like, “would you be nice to this whacky dude who drinks emulsified food out of a hydration backpack” versus “would you call the police when a child was being abducted at an Arby’s.”

What else? Of course, Ronald the mark is made foreman of the jury, serving alongside James Marsden and a cohort of kooks, where they sit for a trial about an emerging fashion mogul suing a former employee for pissing on a bunch of garments, ruining her business and causing her to spiral into an Elle-Woods-gets-rejected-by-Warner-Huntington-the-Third level of depression.

And on top of all of that, Ronald believes that a documentary about the American judicial system is being filmed, giving ample opportunity for talking head interviews to get his reaction to the ongoing buffoonery.

What works:

• Ronald was so well cast because he is the sweetest guy ever. Like, he shows the food tube guy a DVD of A Bug’s Life to make him feel better about being an outcast inventor weirdo. If they had gone with someone snarkier, it probably wouldn’t be as fun to watch.

• James Marsden! I saw a clip of an interview he did with Chicks in the Office where he talked about how he was fine portraying himself as an obnoxious egomaniac, but wanted to ensure that he never fucked with Ronald so much that it ended up being an embarrassing experience for him. I’m also so impressed that he never breaks — telling the attorney that you have prior jury experience because you were a juror at Cannes with a straight face seems impossible, but he made it through.

What doesn’t:

• What’s strange to me is the talking heads and interviews we get with the other “jurors” that happen without Ronald present. As the audience, we’re in on the joke, so it always makes me feel like okay, who is this for? Do we really need them continuing to build out their characters for our sake? It would be more dynamic if they dropped their acts when they were alone with the cameras and gave us more intel on how Ronald was engaging with them or how they might be adjusting their strategy in real-time.

Should you bother? You can def bother! People are saying it reminds them of The Office but I wouldn’t even really take it there. If anything it’s like a less mean version of The Rehearsal, which is far more interesting.

★★★★☆

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Prekend Wrapped

• Watching: I’m seeing A Doll’s House on Broadway tonight with Jessica Chastain and Stewy from Succession who I have the biggest crush on ever.

• Reading: “Are Crumbl Cookies the Best or the Worst? It Doesn’t Matter.” (NYT)

• Eating: Not Crumbl cookies, but Girl Scout Cookies. Support the troops!