It's 10pm, Do You Know Where Your Duchess Is?
I have a review of the new Starbucks Lavender Iced Latte: It barely tastes like anything and is not worth hiking the price of your already expensive drink. They should have made this honey lavender — it’s a flop in my book.
I also tried the Churro syrup at Dunkin, which just tasted like vanilla to me. But has anyone ever had the Bavarian Cream donut?? I got one when I was moving and had zero food left in my house, and I have to say it is WILDLY underrated, probably because no one wants to go into a Dunkin’ and say the word “Bavarian.” It just feels wrong.
Lily Allen says her kids ruined her career. According to the singer, women can’t have it all!
“I never really have a strategy when it comes to career, but yes, my children ruined my career. I mean, I love them and they complete me, but in terms of pop stardom, totally ruined it."
I like to think I also derailed my mom’s career at the local library. She could have gone on a global tour of all the libraries if it wasn’t for me.
JoJo Siwatch! An album is coming. Wow, I love how this girl will not let herself get derailed. The Rolling Stone hit piece was like an ant trying to fight a pit bull.
After JoJo tried to show us she was sexy with a G Flip cosplay gone wrong, she then began teasing a new album that is VERY ADULT and VERY SEXUAL and NOT. FOR. CHILDREN. and IT’S NOT A PHASE, MOM!!!
I, personally, will be seated. She’s fascinating and I love observing everything she does.
And same goes for North West. Our bestie Miss Westie announced on stage during Kanye’s “Vultures” event that she’s working on an album called “Elementary School Dropout,” in homage to her dad’s College Dropout album.
If she’s truly Kanye’s blood, that album will drop in about 7.5 years. She already shaded Taylor on TikTok this month, but I’m excited for some new feuds with Adonis, Blue Ivy, and probably Scott.
Kim deigned to attend a Kanye listening party. She was there with Saint, which has to be the only reason, and she was standing NEXT TO KANYE’S NEW (STEPFORD) WIFE.
I feel like Bianca and Kanye have major Emma Stone / Mark Ruffalo in Poor Things energy, and Kanye is like, you’re only allowed to say these three phrases in public: “We’re so blessed,” “That’s what’s up,” and “How did God make Ye’s penis so big?”
Things Princess Kate Could Be Doing In Secret RN
Writing Harry & Meghan fan fiction
Auditioning men to be an ENM third in her sexless marriage with Will
Growing out her hair after a bob gone wrong
Recovering from a vaping addiction (she can’t get papped with a Juul)
Launching an Etsy shop of hand-made cummerbunds
Going to manicurist school with Amanda Bynes
Making her kids play out extensive D&D campaigns
Having that type of plastic surgery that the Tinder Swindler tried to get after he was found out so that no one can recognize her and she can flee the Royal Family and live a normal (but still wildly affluent) life
Waiting in a coma for true love’s kiss
Eating a bunch of ice cream
Watching: Deal or No Deal Island (Peacock) — I’m mainly watching for Boston Rob, who is currently mentoring a 20-yr-old accountant with a lisp.
Listening: I know Ariana is in such an unsettling era right now, but the new album is suuuch a bop, minus the part at the end where her Grandma talks. I am so over these elderly person features on songs — it is truly only fun for the artist and none of us want to hear your “Nonna” talk when we’re trying to vibe!
Reading: “‘They Play Nice’: Inside the Tensions and Tumult at ‘Queer Eye’” (Rolling Stone) — TL;DR: I feel so vindicated that JVN is a monster…I always knew there was a fake bitch behind those luscious locks.
LOL'd the whole read :) xx