You don't need Givenchy, you need Jesus
This week I saw Lorde perform Ribs live, went on a date, AND have a funeral to attend. That really shows you the (solar) power of what your can accomplish after a Sunday blow out.
I'MMA LET YOU FINISH
Rant of the week.
I find dating to maybe be one of the most taxing processes in the world. If I could, I might actually choose going to the midtown Zara on Black Friday over a first date.
Staring at a stranger whilst evading convo lulls for 2+ hours? I basically turn into Ryan Seacrest in a marathon red carpet interview.
Here are some questions I asked this week to get everyone off-script:
1. How do you feel about having a female boss? (This wasn’t like a kinky foreplay question - I just truly think the gender-politics of workplace hierarchies are interesting)
2. Do you believe in ghosts? (He didn’t).
3. How would you rate the bathroom on a scale of 1 to 5. Categories are cleanliness, aesthetic, and UX.
Another tactic I recently employed to make myself less nervous is gamifying the experience. And now you can too!
Excited, thrilled, and humbled to share my all new Hinge Date Bingo Board. It’s filled with the most common/generic interests, phrases, and experiences I encounter from men on dating apps.
If you get bingo, you win! But you will probably still be single.
LOSING SLEEP
The wormholes keeping me up at night.
This week, Blac Chyna is taking to KOURT with her narrative that the premature cancellation of her short lived spinoff series Rob & Chyna lost her millions of dollars, so she's suing The Family for $100M+ in damages (sorry, but that's more than Kourtney and Khole's net worths combined). If you haven’t been following, here's what you need to know:
Important Context For Fake Fans: Rob Kardashian, son of Kris Jenner and gas station hot sauce entrepreneur, was originally a featured cast member in the initial seasons of KUWTK. This was his peak era, when he was pretty hot and dated Cheetah Girl and Masked Singer contestant Adrienne Bailon (before he cheeta’d on her).
The Spinoff (Krux of the Issue): After Rob and Chyna get together, in 2016, E! produces a spinoff aptly titled Rob & Chyna which follows their relationship and the birth of their daughter Dream. But during the off-season, there’s probable infidelity on both sides, Rob hits a new low and posts nudes of Chyna on the internet, she allegedly hits him, there’s alleged gun-wielding antics. . . not exactly TV-14 content.
The Fallout: According to the defense, Kris Jenner texted execs at E! and told them that Chyna was “ghetto” and “drunk” and to “get her off the show.” According to the Kardash Kamp, S2 was canceled because Rob & Chyna were no longer a couple (with good reason, lol), which was the whole basis of the show.
So, was Chyna “ROBBED??”
I just don’t see how you can come back from a scandal of that magnitude and messiness and continue documenting your co-parenting journey like you don’t literally wish the other person was dead. It's a fluffy E! show, not an Investigation Discovery series. BUT, Scott and Tristan have continued to make appearances on KUWTK for years after super public cheating scandals, so there is precedent, sort of.
If nothing else, at least the courtroom illustrator is on her side.
COLOR ME INFLUENCED
Credit card debt intensifies.
This week all I bought from a material perspective was some jean shorts from Abercrombie that Remi Bader did a video on, so instead, here are all the restaurants and bars where I set fire to money + my rankings on the Beli app.
Bar Dalia, Astoria 7.1
ICONYC Brewing, LIC 8.3
Freehold, Williamsburg (my first bagel tower experience) 6.1
Sapps, LIC 5.7
Pebble Bar, Midtown (did not see Nicholas Braun) 9.7
Jungle Bird, Chelsea 5.6
Jacx & Co, LIC (maybe the best croissant of my life) 9.1
El Born, Greenpoint 7.7
CHEERS TO THE FRICKEN PREKEND
"What the fuck is a prekend?"
Watching: White Hot: The Rise & Fall of Abercrombie and Fitch
Reading: Bunny by Mona Awad
Eating: A bunch of Snacklins (aka flavored air)
